Planning to leave?

If you are planning to leave, think about the following:

Keep children safe

Seek advice on how to talk to your child about domestic violence and how to include them into your safety plan. The Shelter can help with this.
Make up a code word with your children for when you need help.
Teach children how to dial 000 and practice what to say. “I need the Police - My name is ___ . My address is ___ and my mum is being hurt.” Tell children not to hang up the phone so services can hear what is happening and find you.
Tell your children which neighbour, friend or relative they could run to for safety or contact in an emergency.

Get a new Prepaid SIM Card with credit to use in your phone or have coins for a phone box.
Keep your bank account details private or open a new account so your abuser does not have access to your finances.
Use a public computer (e.g. library or community centre) or a friend’s computer that your abuser can’t access.
Keep a bag packed so you can easily take it with you. Hide it where you can get to it easily, or leave it with a trusted friend.
Decide who you will call if you feel threatened or in danger.

When abusers feel a loss of control, like when victims try to leave them, the abuse often gets worse.
Take special care and seek support.
Get Violence Restraining Order (VRO) from the court. Include your workplace and children in it. Keep a copy with you all the time.
Advise your children’s carers who is allowed to pick them up. Give a copy of the VRO to police, your employer, your children’s carers and school.

Tell friends and neighbours that your abuser no longer lives with you. Ask them to call the police if they see your abuser near your home or children.
Advise work about your situation and ask them to screen your calls and block your emails. Give a copy of the VRO and a picture of the abuser to your workplace.
Change the locks on your house and car.
Consider installing stronger doors, a security system and outside lights.

Change your mobile number and have it set on ‘private’ by your provider.
Get a P.O. Box for important mail or keep your home address private.
Don’t use the same stores that you did when you were with your abuser.
Ask government agencies like Centrelink, Medicare, gas, electricity, law firms, doctors, schools, hospitals etc to keep your details private.

Change your email address. Avoid using any personal details as the account name.
Have a computer technician check your computer for spyware programs.
Delete your Facebook account and your kids’ accounts. People can accidentally reveal your whereabouts and social circles without realising they have done so.
Keep a neighbour’s phone number to call in an emergency.